5 Noteworthy Weapons
Here at work, rather than working I think deep thoughts. Today my thoughts (stress might have something to do with this!) were focused on some of the best weapons I've come across in my limited area of play.
Polka’s Umbrella- Eternal Sonata: You’ve got to give a girl credit if she carries a frilly umbrella into a battle with a huge face-eating dragon monster at the ends of the earth. For one thing, they aren’t the most stable of weapons; even an upward draft can turn ‘em inside out. Although if you’re lucky enough to be able to combine one with pretty magical flower powers you should be able to take on anything and still look cute.
James’ Secret Chainsaw- Silent Hill 2: It’s absolutely useless. You can choose to find this either irritating or amusing. Once you finally manage to tear into your enemy- typically the faceless, arm-tied, shiny mannequin types that spit on you- you’ve lost half your health and the will to live, but are graced with a nightmarish spatter of blood (the color is optional, how brilliant is that?) and thus victory! Now wasn’t that fun?
Peach’s Frying Pan- Super Smash Bros: There’s nothing more satisfying than the sound of connecting a bit of kitchenware to an Italian plumber’s jaw. Or an enraged gorilla if you prefer. Either way, you know you’ve got a good thing going on. Its house-wife approved!
Giant Lego-man Heads- Dead Rising: No matter your gender, your background, or even your skill level, we all like a little bit of zombie bashing. What better way to do it than by hurling oversized Lego heads at them? This not only causes minor injuries but also the toy manages to become caught around the offending corpse’s face causing mass confusion. In a mall full or wandering undead that can’t see you to eat you (and they look pretty foolish to boot) you are King.
Cloud Strife’s Nail Bat- Final Fantasy VII: This one deserves an honorable mention, as the game rests heavily on so many hearts. But honestly, after Advent Children, can anyone see the new mopey Cloud toting this weapon around now? I didn’t think so. Back in the day he was badass enough to hand out some pain with a massive nail bat, but now he won’t do so much as smile unless he’s got a set of totally rad shades and a fully equipped bike waiting for him outside, and it doesn’t even matter if the voluptuous Tifa is straddling the back of it or not. Rant over. S’good weapon.
Polka’s Umbrella- Eternal Sonata: You’ve got to give a girl credit if she carries a frilly umbrella into a battle with a huge face-eating dragon monster at the ends of the earth. For one thing, they aren’t the most stable of weapons; even an upward draft can turn ‘em inside out. Although if you’re lucky enough to be able to combine one with pretty magical flower powers you should be able to take on anything and still look cute.
James’ Secret Chainsaw- Silent Hill 2: It’s absolutely useless. You can choose to find this either irritating or amusing. Once you finally manage to tear into your enemy- typically the faceless, arm-tied, shiny mannequin types that spit on you- you’ve lost half your health and the will to live, but are graced with a nightmarish spatter of blood (the color is optional, how brilliant is that?) and thus victory! Now wasn’t that fun?
Peach’s Frying Pan- Super Smash Bros: There’s nothing more satisfying than the sound of connecting a bit of kitchenware to an Italian plumber’s jaw. Or an enraged gorilla if you prefer. Either way, you know you’ve got a good thing going on. Its house-wife approved!
Giant Lego-man Heads- Dead Rising: No matter your gender, your background, or even your skill level, we all like a little bit of zombie bashing. What better way to do it than by hurling oversized Lego heads at them? This not only causes minor injuries but also the toy manages to become caught around the offending corpse’s face causing mass confusion. In a mall full or wandering undead that can’t see you to eat you (and they look pretty foolish to boot) you are King.
Cloud Strife’s Nail Bat- Final Fantasy VII: This one deserves an honorable mention, as the game rests heavily on so many hearts. But honestly, after Advent Children, can anyone see the new mopey Cloud toting this weapon around now? I didn’t think so. Back in the day he was badass enough to hand out some pain with a massive nail bat, but now he won’t do so much as smile unless he’s got a set of totally rad shades and a fully equipped bike waiting for him outside, and it doesn’t even matter if the voluptuous Tifa is straddling the back of it or not. Rant over. S’good weapon.
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